Empathy in pain

This wasn’t the post I planned on writing today.
But then a lot of things in life aren’t planned.

In a split second our lives are changed
into an unimaginable hell
when something completely unplanned happens

I know
and you know
that accidents happen
every day
every hour
But most of us just cruise on through life
completely untouched by another’s pain
Unless the unthinkable happens!
The unthinkable
the unimaginable
the inconceivable
the personal trauma of losing….

Losing someone that is so near & dear to us
Losing that person in a split second
no warning
absolute horror
We absolutely & simply just cannot comprehend
how we can carry on living

The pain is overwhelming
all consuming

I have been there
Oh man!
I have been right there…
I have walked this journey
I have almost drowned during this journey
It was the hardest fucking journey I have ever faced

And today
when the news broke
that Laura – a woman I had never heard of before this morning
had been left
in a foreign country
on her own
with two small boys
in one split moment
her world had been completely turned upside down
by an unplanned incident
that took her man away from her
that took a dad away from his boys


For her

I know her pain
I can still feel that pain
In the depths of my soul
I feel her pain

I can’t tell her
it’s going to be ok
I can’t tell her
she will heal
I can’t tell her
she is young enough to find another man
I can’t tell her
that her boys will ‘get over losing their Dad’
I can’t tell her

Because I know this is all total bullshit right now
All Laura needs & wants right now is Leslie
and she can’t have him
and my heart weeps so strongly with hers

like me
and many others before us
in time
she will follow her road
to a place where she can ‘heal’
A place
where joy will overtake the sorrow

But right at this moment
we as Kiwis
need to envelop her with love and support
and give her all we can to ensure
that she can make it through
these days & weeks

once the initial numbness disappears
it is going to hurt
way way more than
I can ever describe
There are just no words
to express
that pain
that darkness
that deep deep sorrow
that comes from the loving & losing…..

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