{"id":1079,"date":"2020-04-24T09:22:41","date_gmt":"2020-04-23T21:22:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/?p=1079"},"modified":"2023-04-01T08:18:19","modified_gmt":"2023-03-31T19:18:19","slug":"lockdown-trauma-brain-triggers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/?p=1079","title":{"rendered":"Lockdown = trauma brain triggers"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>
\n

My brain has been all over the place during this tumultuous period of our lives
There have been so so many triggers
I have really been struggling to process them all
My emotional state has been highly disturbed and at a very low ebb
<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n


Modern technology has been both a curse and a blessing
The curse of information overload
what to believe
what to not
who to believe
who to not

I have learnt to use Zoom which has been such a blessing as the one certainty each week has been my hour with my therapist
It is the 9am appointment that I have to get out of bed and show up for
She has helped me unravel my trauma brain amongst all of this confusion
The first week was so bad
I was drowning in isolation
I did not cope
with being locked in
with being controlled
with being silenced
with living in fear

Unraveling…
Taking it back…
Processing…

As a child
I was mind controlled
I was silenced by fear
I was isolated by fear
and I was locked in by the knowledge that if I spoke up I would destroy so much
By keeping silent I was protecting everyone else
but also protecting myself
I found strength enough to hold the abuse
But I wasn’t strong enough to endure the consequences of breaking silence

My brain was fighting, struggling with being taken back down that dark trauma rabbit hole
I was drowning

Once I was able to process and identify
I spoke up
Voiced my fears
And I was heard
My friends and family heard my cry for help
And through video coffee dates and phone calls
And walks in the sunshine & lots of supportive cuddles from my love
I have made it through thus far
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

\u201cMy life is so blessed with some of the most amazing people. Thank you for being part of my journey.\u201d \u2013 Unknown<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My brain has been all over the place during this tumultuous period of our livesThere have been so so many triggers I have really been struggling to process them allMy emotional state has been highly disturbed and at a very low ebb Modern technology has been both a curse and a blessingThe curse of information … Continue reading “Lockdown = trauma brain triggers”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[41,79,19,69,47,4,54,67,17,49,60,48,80,68,70,1,18],"tags":[77],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1079"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1079"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1079\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1363,"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1079\/revisions\/1363"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1079"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1079"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1079"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}