{"id":892,"date":"2017-08-18T19:15:26","date_gmt":"2017-08-18T19:15:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/?p=892"},"modified":"2017-08-18T19:23:05","modified_gmt":"2017-08-18T19:23:05","slug":"reclaimation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/?p=892","title":{"rendered":"Reclaimation"},"content":{"rendered":"

Recently I was given this photo of a little girl
\n\"\"
\nI look into the eyes of this endearing wee lass
\nand I see
\ninnocence
\nsweetness
\ndelight
\nlove
\npreciousness
\ncute
\nfun
\nthoughtful
\nkind
\ntrust
\nnaivety<\/p>\n

I look at this picture which is obviously old
\nand I see a beautiful wee 4 year old girl
\na sweet treasure of a child
\nwho has no idea of how her life is going to change
\nin just a few years<\/p>\n

In only 3-4 years from now she would be changed forever.
\nLooking at this photo I wonder if
\nthe grooming hadn\u2019t already begun<\/p>\n

Looking at this photo I wonder
\nwhat if
\n\u2018things’ hadn\u2019t happened
\nwhat if
\nshe would\u2019ve been allowed
\nto grow up
\nto be a normal, happy, little girl
\nretaining her innocence
\nher naivety
\nuntil she was ready to make her own mature decisions<\/p>\n

I do not remember this photo being taken
\nBut I do remember this little girl
\nthis little girl
\nwas me<\/p>\n

She was the before
\nI am the after<\/p>\n

What happened in between?
\nThe little girl disappeared
\ninto a world of
\nconfusion
\nhurt
\nbetrayal
\nsecrecy
\npain
\ndistress
\nintimidation
\nspirit killing
\nsoul damaging
\ndepravity<\/p>\n

A world that lasted for over 10 years
\nthe wounds of which
\nare embedded so deep
\nthat they imprinted
\ninto her bones
\nher spirit
\nand into her very soul<\/p>\n

Escaping that world
\ndidn\u2019t mean the wounds disappeared
\nthey just healed over
\nand the poison remained
\nhidden
\ninside
\nslowly eating away at her spirit<\/p>\n

For 36 long hard years
\nShe fought to be strong
\nfought to stay strong
\nfought the memories
\nfought herself
\nfought everyone else
\nfought with an uncontrolled anger<\/p>\n

Fighting makes you strong
\nand she was strong
\nbut not in a good way<\/p>\n

Finally on the 28th January 2011
\nthe poisons had done enough damage
\nand she broke<\/p>\n

and then the battle really truly began
\nthe battle to find that little girl
\nthe battle to open up all those wounds
\nto clean them out
\nto rid my whole self of all the toxins
\nthe battle to heal
\nthe battle to discover Me
\nthe battle to love Me<\/p>\n

I learned not just be a fighter
\nI learned to
\nto stand strong
\nto stand true
\nto stand with pride
\nI learned to be a warrior
\nI learned that even though I can win the battles
\nthe scars will always remain
\nThe scars
\nwill always make my road a little rougher
\nwill always be a reminder
\nwill often make my ride a little unsteady
\nbut
\nmy scars
\nare my tattoos of bravery
\nbecause Brave is now my middle name<\/p>\n

Looking back into the eyes of that sweet wee girl
\nknowing
\nno-one was there for her
\nno-one was there to shield her
\nbreaks my heart<\/p>\n

But
\n56 years on
\nI have found her again
\nshe is still there
\ndeep within my soul
\nand I will do my absolute best
\nto nuture her
\nto defend her
\nto love her
\nbecause she deserves that and so much more
\n\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Recently I was given this photo of a little girl I look into the eyes of this endearing wee lass and I see innocence sweetness delight love preciousness cute fun thoughtful kind trust naivety I look at this picture which is obviously old and I see a beautiful wee 4 year old girl a sweet … Continue reading “Reclaimation”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/892"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=892"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/892\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":900,"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/892\/revisions\/900"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=892"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=892"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mybigballofstring.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=892"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}