A special friend told me recently that I am very good at talking about my family and the things they do, but I am not good at talking about myself.
That got me to thinking, and I realised she was right, so right.
For someone who has always been so articulate, a lover of words I was actually unable to point them inwardly unless they were negative.
I have spent all my life being a mother and a wife, being a home educator, an administrator, a farmer, a friend, that somewhere in amongst all of it I couldn’t see me.
I have constantly under estimated myself, I have lacked self confidence, I have had negative body image, I push myself until I break, I give and give and give some more because I never knew how to say no. I vacillate between being being the victim of abuse and being a passionate and strident voice supporting other victims because I haven’t been strong enough to use my voice for me.
But now I am finding my own voice.
I am now beginning to see Me.
This new blog is Me stepping out, starting afresh, learning to be happy in the skin I’m in.
I asked another very dear and astute friend to tell me what she saw in me.
I can now own her words!
I am so amazing. I always make a positive out of every opportunity. I have personality, aptitude, excellent communication skills, interpersonal skills, and above all a great sense of being and understanding of people. Not to mention kindheartedness and desire to learn more, I am an amazing individual.
I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an’ pretend
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever gonna keep me down again
You can bend but never break me
‘Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul
I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin’ arms across the land
But I’m still an embryo
With a long, long way to go
Until I make my brother understand
Oh yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman
I am a survivor.
My self and my psyche were so damaged by the one person who was meant to love and protect me during my young and formative years that consequently I have walked an incredibly rough and rocky road through life.
But I am now saying enough!
I am claiming myself back.
Welcome to my new world.