So
to get help
ongoing
to pursue my healing
the pathways have changed
more hoops have been added to the circus
I’m told I have to
Trust the Process
In trusting the process
I have to fit myself into
boxes that do not fit me
Boxes created by some glass towered, plastic brained, robot
who is under the very mistaken impression
that by answering
a few generic questions
They can channel me
They can fix me
I can’t Trust the Process
when they don’t See Me
when they don’t Hear Me
when they decide that categorising me
into boxes of boxes
numbered 1 to 2 to 5 to 10
is going to fix my problem
Nah!
It ain’t
All it does is
triggers the shit out of me
makes me angry
opens more wounds
creating more of a mess of me
than I was before
One of the few understanding real people
in the department
told me all those years ago
this will take you years
and years
and even more years
to heal from
He didn’t make me fill in redundant boxes
He heard Me
It took decades
to feel safe enough
to allow someone to hear
and now
I feel like I am going backwards
Trust the System
they’re not hearing Me
they’re not hearing Anyone
they just want to tick their bloody boxes
and rake in their daily dollars
and pretend they’ve fixed so many
and feel good about themselves
it is all absolute bullshit!
