The frustrations of a distracted writer

Words swirl in my brain
Sentences form
The need to jot them down becomes
Overwhelmed by body busyness
They get forgotten
Left to mull in the recesses of my brain
Then when opportunity arises
They fail to appear in any form of sensical reason

Words have always been
my love
my escape
my weapons
Words feed my soul
I am a word devourer
A word fanaticist
And when words escape me….

I need words to convey
my heart
who I am
To you

To you the reader of my ramblings
And when I lose my words
I am lost

Today I began to write what was in my heart
but my mind wouldn’t cooperate
I spill myself out
using words that I never intended
because the ones I want
elude me

I will endeavour to slow myself
to breathe
and focus
and bring myself back

I will search for the escapees
and return soon

A New Year, A New Decade

For months
I have been blogging in my head
never getting the words written
so many words
so many thoughts
so many heartaches
so much life
so much living
trying to make sense of them all

tangling in my brain
wishing I’d taken time to write them down
processing them better

just maybe
that might have lessened my anxiousness
reduced my worries
made sense of the mind games
helped my reflections
calmed the triggers

a New Year
a new decade
no rash resolutions
just circumspect self care

I need to write more
not Want
but Need
for my soul
my spirit
my heart
my wellbeing
I need
to hear myself

I need
to give myself space
time to reflect
time to process
time to bleed
healing continuum