Daring greatly during difficult days


When you think the absolute worst thing to happen to you has already happened, yet another curved ball comes from left field and totally blind sides you.

In my current emotionally exhausted melancholic state I look back over my nearly 60 years and can readily recall some of the largest curved balls that have smashed into me. In amongst them smaller balls which hit with slightly less aggressive force and their bruises are sometimes not terribly visible until a trigger prompts their memory.

These balls have battered and bruised me. Some have near killed me. But I have always picked myself up, reached down, picked up the ball and run with it. Trying to run with the weight of these balls adding up over the years have resulted in a medical diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder.

In recent times I’ve been pitched some huge balls that have hit me fair in the gut. Smashed the wind clean out of me. Left me wondering how on earth I can carry on.

But I did, and I do. My natural instinct has been to recoil inwards, hold my pain, cradle it tight like a precious child, protecting it, kicking out at anyone who dares to come near, fighting, fighting, fighting for……. fighting for what?

Fighting to protect my vulnerability. Fighting to prevent more hurt, more pain. Because after all, if you don’t allow anyone in then you can’t get hurt again. Right?


Brené Brown taught me that by exposing my vulnerability I gain strength.


By exposing my desperate needs, my hurts, my pain, learning to trust, I slowly rebuild my village.

When those massive curved balls smash into you they break the protective walls that surrounded you, they don’t just batter you but they send your village scattering. Leaving only one or two of your tribe behind if you’re lucky.

It is then you make your choices. Run and hide, head for the hills, curl up in a ball, stay alone, protect yourself….

or reach out, find empathy, build strength, learn to trust, abandon shame, tell your story,

It takes a while to rebuild, to create a new village, foundation bricks are tested, ones who prove to be trustworthy and strong are added to the new foundations, the ones who are not are cast aside. You tentatively reach out, test the waters, learn who to trust, each brick in place adds more strength. A new village is constructed. Your new tribe rises to surround and support you. A tribe that is prepared to cover your back, to stand alongside, to encourage, empower, support, and no matter what, love you no matter what.

A tribe you can stand sweaty, strong & bloodied in the arena with – a tribe who will dare greatly with you!

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

Teddy Roosevelt 1910

It’s time…….


I’m finding it incredible at the timeliness of Becca Lees poetry coming to my attention and speaking the words that my heart is trying to say.


These rings are such an integral part of me. They represent the binding of two hearts. The constancy and love Tim & I had.

I have worn my engagement ring for near on 39 years and my wedding ring for coming up 38 years.

I have continued to wear them because I haven’t been ready to let him go, I’ve worn them to hold connection and also for protection. image

But yesterday my heart was ready. image

The years of wear have left their mark. A mark which will fade in time but never the memories they represent.

I’m not ready to release them entirely.

They are not being relegated to the top drawer.

I’m not a big jewelry wearer, I wear only what I really love

And I really love these rings.

Just as I loved the giver.

So they are now adorning my right hand. Still connected directly to my heart.

But not in a way that shouts ‘No Vacancy’!


I’m exonerating my heart, laying aside the burdens, making peace with the past.

Venturing forward to discover & embrace a future that is waiting to greet me with open arms.


Hello world!

After 10 years of blogging about life in the fast lane of motherhood, ménage, motivation, marriage, and mourning, I have decided to begin anew.
So welcome to my new blog.
I’m not too sure how this will develop but knowing me it will be at times deep and meaningful and at others, light and fripperous 🙂
Don’t you just love that word – fripperous?
It is so fun and happy and carefree.
In setting up this new site I have stumbled upon the works of Becca Lee.
I am a lover of words.
They move me, they speak to me and and feed my soul.
They nurture, they soothe, they help me process.
When I discovered her Instagram site my heart leapt.
I fell upon her words like a starving ravenous wretch.
As I begin walking toward the light after so long in the darkness this quote fuels my soul tonight.