When life is trucking along
you are hit by small triggers spasmodically but you just stop briefly and deal with them as they bump you
then you’re back on course again
till the next wee one
They feel big
But in actuality they’re just potholes that reduce your speed momentarily
But when out of left field
a huge train mows you down
you don’t have time to run for cover
It unleashes all the demons that you’ve managed to keep locked in your basement for the past years
It
sucker punches
gut punches
derails you
all the tips and techniques you’ve learnt
all the therapies
all the breathing
everything just flies out the window
Those demons start playing havoc in your head
reigniting memories
exhausting you with all the ‘whatifs’
all the ‘whys’
Taking me down trails I don’t want to go
the overgrown tracks I have been consciously avoiding
shutting out
closing my mind to
No!!
I don’t want to go there again
No more
Stop!!!
The anger
the grief
the absolute sadness
and the feelings of betrayal
The betrayal is the worst
all these years and they knew
but they stayed silent
The betrayal….
